Note: Hi! I originally posted this blog post last year and in light of media conversations in the past few weeks I’m re-posting. Sunrise, a morning TV program, ran a story about naked images of women being lifted from the Internet and used against these women as “revenge porn”. Sunrise in their wisdom decided to victim shame by asking when will women learn to not put up naked shots of themselves, instead of shaming those that had violated all trust by using those images to harm others. My belief is that as an adult you have the right to send images to someone you trust. Any violation of that trust is not your fault but that of the person who would seek to harm you by using those images in any way other than what you intended. Using those images against women (or men) is abuse. It’s is a violation. Sunrise has apologised for any offence caused but the deeper issue is that women continued to be shamed for abuse against them rather than shaming those who seek to abuse. On another note, the Producer sadly hasn’t had a Friday off in quite some time. Thanks for dropping by and enjoy the read!
To sext or not to sext? Now, that’s a hell of a question that Shakespeare of course never had to ponder. Though I strongly suspect had sexting been around in the day of the Bard he’d have waxed lyrical about it! Sexting is of course an obvious amalgamation of the words sex and texting. It is the term for texting naked or semi naked photographs of yourself, and or sexy messages if you feel so inclined.
The lovely Producer has been having Friday afternoons off of late and has gotten into the very cheeky habit of sending me what I like to call Friday Pin-Up shots. This is to say that while I’m going about my busy day and working up a storm, he will text me some very yummy photos of himself in various states of undress.
Far be it for me to complain, but although this has been going on for some weeks, I’m still always a little surprised (and delighted) to receive them! Of course you can bet that I am madly trying to meet a deadline or I’m in a meeting with others when this occurs on a Friday afternoon. I’m more than sure I have blushed on many occasions. I have taken to being more careful when opening the cover on my iPhone for obvious reasons!
Given that we are in a relationship and there is trust, it’s lots of fun and yes, just a little bit kinky. Sexting me is his thing. He really does give good…ahem…pictures!
I’m not inclined to send naked pictures of myself to him although I have sent one of two since I’ve met the Producer. Once I sent what I hoped was a more artistically angled picture of myself wearing lingerie…it was some time ago and it was his birthday after all. Since that was prior to us calling this love affair a relationship, I was mindful not to show my face and it left enough to the imagination to protect my modesty. Cheeky? Yes.
Given that he texts me lots of other messages during the week that are not related to sex, I have to say that receiving a surprise naked pic of my favourite person does tend to get me hot under the collar. It’s playful and reminds me in no uncertain terms that he is thinking of me…and he’s thinking about sex with me! Nice! There is something about seeing him and not being able to touch him that is very delicious.
He will sometimes go one step further and actually call me afterwards and heavily breathe sweet nothings in my ear. How is a good girl supposed to get any bloody work done after that?! I think it’s the thrill of knowing I am in an office, often surrounded by people where I’m unable to answer back which is the thrill for him.
Sexting though isn’t for everyone and I totally understand why. I honestly wouldn’t recommend sending naked selfies to just anyone and certainly be careful doing so to someone you don’t know particularly well. Let’s face it, the internet is an expansive universe where any of your pics could end up! Naked happy snaps in the hands of a jilted lover might be cause some squeamishness also!
I have a lot of friends who have sent selfies to their partners either draped in lingerie or butt naked. Good for them! One friend emphatically told me that she took at least two dozen shots of herself once just so she could get the most flattering shot to send to her lover! Another friend told me once she would take pictures of her breasts for her man, but not her genitalia, so everyone is different! Whatever makes you comfortable I say!
While I’m not suggesting everyone rush out and start snapping naked selfies to send to your lover, I think it’s a fun way to spice things up – especially if your partner isn’t expecting it! Obviously be very careful sending naked selfies to people you barely know. A lot of people would rightly think that was creepy! If it’s between consenting adults, then it’s okay! If you’re not sure how the other person would react, don’t send anything!
Let’s face it, in the world of cyber space, the only true way to protect yourself is to not share anything, but what a boring world that would be! So if you’re feeling a little Friday friskiness coming on and you’re planning to send your lover some hot and sultry pics, here are a few simple suggestions for keeping yourself safer!
1. Always check the number you are sexting! You would so hate to accidentally send that naked pic to your boss instead of your lover! Ouch! Once you hit send, it’s almost impossible to get back!
2. Don’t drunk-sext! Much like texting, don’t send images of yourself when drunk! It may end up in the wrong hands or you may share more than you intended! (I once worked with a chick that sent a naked selfie to her mum instead of her boyfriend! True story…
3. Don’t include your face in the pictures (unless it’s a trusted partner). Cropping out your face entirely would be smarter (there are some tech savvy peeps out there that can reverse blurring of images! Who knew?). This is a little trickier of course if you have tattoos or an obvious birthmark, so keep that in mind! Plausible denial is the best way to go otherwise (Umm, no – I wish they were my boobs!)…
4. Got kids or housemates and you’re worried about your naked pics being discovered on your phone? You can actually get “Vault” apps for both Android and iOS…who knew! You can use my good friend Google to find an app that allows pictures to be hidden by a password! Or if you’re really concerned about privacy, enjoy them then delete them! Obviously it goes without saying those pics were sent by you or received by you. Don’t share!
5. Have fun! Never send more than you’re comfortable with and keep it light and flirty!