I’m hooked on a feeling…
High on believing, that you’re in love with me…
Hooked on a feeling – BJ Thomas
We’ve all been there, right? After the giddiness of dating someone you think is sensational, and compatible, and hot as all hell, something starts to happen…Are you imagining this? The sweating, the heart palpitations, the drifting off at inopportune times…
One lovely friend recently coined the phrase “catching feelings” when it happened to her, and it can feel like dangerous territory when you arrive there quite I expectantly.
Yes, you put yourself out there in the hope of finding the elusive “one” but deep down you weren’t completely convinced you would find them out there in the land of tinder (or what ever dating site is your chosen poison). But you did.
Maybe he swiped first, maybe it was you but somehow you were “matched” and you ended up on a date. Perhaps it was coffee, or dinner, or a drink at a hip bar. Regardless, you found each other.
So one date leads to another and you find yourself waxing all your bits, and diligently wearing matching lingerie just in the case the mood should take you both. Then it does. It usually does when the chemistry is right.
Hot, steamy gorgeous sex after anticipation and the next day he sends you text messages that make you beam and vice versa. So you’re off and running, high on ocitocin and the dawning of new hope and excitement.
Then a few weeks, maybe 5 or 6, go by and it suddenly hits you. You’re not dating anyone else. Just this one. You’re also not wanting to see other people as this one makes your eyes glow and your heart skip a beat. It feels delicious and terrifying all at once.
Oh shit. You’ve caught feelings. You’re into this person but you’re standing on the awkward cliff face of “do they or don’t they feel the same way?”
You convince yourself they must. Right? Right? I mean you’re seeing them all the time. They are sending you cute text messages which means they must be into you. They bought you flowers. You talk for hours on end about everything and nothing. You met a couple of their friends…but you’re not on each other’s Facebook and Instagram just yet.
So my gorgeous friend did what many of us have done before. She stalked his Facebook account (you know you have!). She googled him, checked his LinkedIn. You start to look at their friends, photos, recent outings. Then you try to find the courage to have that conversation.
You’ve had a great dinner, you’ve enjoyed amazing sex and as you lay in his arms you finally broach the subject of exclusivity.
“I really like you.”
He’s smiling. “I like you too.”
You feel a little giddy.
“I’m thinking I’d like to see where this might go. You know, if you want to?”
You hold your breath but in the silence you already know. His body shifts slightly away from yours.
“Look, you’re great…I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
Ouch. Well, you might have been more honest on your dating profile then dude, you want to say. But you don’t. Instead you act like its no biggie. You wave your hand as a show of indifference. Like your heart didn’t just chip just a little bit. Like the hope you felt five minutes ago while he was between your thighs wasn’t just extinguished.
You gather your thoughts and your clothing and you leave with your head held high and climb into your car, muttering under your breath that it’s his loss more than yours.
Because you’re right. It is his loss and when the right one comes along you’ll be glad this guy didn’t catch feelings for you. In the end it would have been you breaking his heart. In the meantime enjoy the experience of dating Mr Right Now’s. They teach you many things grasshopper…like your heart is still capable of catching all the feels.